“Telling My Story”: Gabriella Vergilov Is The Bulgarian Techno DJ Pouring Herself Into Music

What gave you the courage to try DJing and producing yourself?

I was inspired to buy the equipment after visiting my friend in Berlin. I stayed with him and saw for the first time his studio, which looked like a spaceship with all kinds of beautiful classical instruments. There are 808s, 909s, 707s, 303s, and at least 10 keyboard synths, lots of pedals, and a few modular synths. Just hours before arriving home, he was given a Roland TR-8, and he was one of the first people in Germany to own one. So we sat on the living room sofa. He brought the laptop, turned on the batteries, added the Roland 303, put it on my lap and said let's try it and I started improvising. And I thought: I want him in my house. A few months later I ordered my own kit and basically copied the mini setup. I bought a mikroKORG with a small mic, Roland TR-8 drums and a replica Roland 303 acid machine, it looks exactly the same, the sound is really bad on the original, just a cheap version. I immediately fell in love with synthesizers and the ability to create any type of sound you wanted... I was hooked. It was actually one of the happiest periods of my life, I now see it as a pillar of my growth as a musician and music producer. Music has given me so much and I am grateful for these moments and the people who introduced me to it.

Do you think that comes naturally as a DJ or producer?

I postponed the DJ. I just want to be a vinyl DJ and do everything right. And for me, "right" means knowing the technical aspects and training at the highest level. At home I still only have a record player and no CDJs. I learned to play digital in a club, I had never practiced, but the transition was very easy because I had been playing CD for three years. But it took me a whole year to say yes to the show. The production part is very natural, knowing theory, rhythm, harmony and playing the piano really helps. I learned autodidactically. Literally two guys came, one of them was Bjarki, to show me how to connect my machine, connect my sound card, jam and use the EQ, that's all. I haven't watched any tutorials, I like to learn by trial and error. I am very intuitive and approach music production as if I were creating. I rely heavily on what feels good at the time and aim for a cinematic feel. I leave the technical part to the mixing-mastering technician. So the production was really organic and fun.

How long after you bought the device did you release your first version?

I don't remember the year, but I remember the month: it was June when my equipment arrived, and by October I had started sending music to people. New York label Thema Recordings picked a few songs and said: "We've let you go." When I was asked: I don't believe that I "deserve" to be recognized. It's about my struggle with depression and low self-esteem over the years. Low self-esteem is very common in people who suffer from melancholia, depression, or ADHD, I just didn't realize it at the time. I often hear from my friends "you should believe in yourself more, relax a little". I didn't know what it meant until I started therapy. My self-esteem has improved in a healthy way and I am grateful to finally be healthy. But it is a journey.

When did your depression start?

I think it happened in my childhood, but it wasn't until six or seven years ago that I realized that I wasn't in tune with the way I felt when I started DJing and producing. I made a career choice that wasn't even what I wanted. I couldn't say no, because when you're emotionally challenged, you feel these extremes, like, "Oh, if you don't, then it's the end of the world." Impostor syndrome also plays a role in this and prevents you from realizing your full potential. I recently realized that the choices we make really define who we are. I made a video about it.

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You released your first album in 2016. Was that when you started DJing?

YES. In 2017 I moved to Berlin for a year. The plan is to be the best out of town and play as much as possible. When I lived in Copenhagen, I would get on the bus on a Friday night or Saturday morning, eight o'clock, depending on when I finished work, and spend the whole weekend in Berlin. I met lots of people. I also always dance in the front row when artists from Berlin come to play in Copenhagen. I've seen Ben Klock DJ at least 50 times before me. One day I received this offer. “Would you like to play at Culture Box in Copenhagen?” Ben Klock was playing in the main room and it was me and someone else in the other room. But I turned down the first concert because I didn't feel ready. I don't want to be stupid. I was just doing a vinyl set and the promoter wanted me to play a digital set. He believed that one session would be enough for me to be ready to perform. I'm glad he trusts me, but I don't want the pressure of trying to be perfect without taking the time to prepare. Many people on stage said. “You're Crazy”: Not long after that I was booked to play at a big festival in Belgium with three of my favorites on the same stage on the same day, Ben Cloke, Jeff Mills and Richie Hawtin. It was my way of saying, "Listen, I know what I'm doing." It was actually Ben Klock who supported me and played my shows in the first place. He included my song “Her Beginning” in his Berghain set. This is by no means a standard techno track, more of a sensual and laid back house track. It was so big for me, I cried on that dance floor. It felt like the universe was telling me to take the time, do the work, and trust your intuition.

What would you say has been the highlight of your career from a production standpoint and also as a DJ?

As a DJ, definitely my two boilers . When I did it in 2019, I was the first Bulgarian to be booked on the platform and only the second artist from my country. The other one is in Sofia in 2021. It's crazy, at that time I was like the Bulgarian ambassador for Boiler Room and they were so happy to see me. It was the first edition in Bulgaria, so it seemed like a big deal for the whole world, not just for me. From a production standpoint, I think DVS1 support is critical. Since I put out my music, he plays it all the time. Ben Klock and Ben Sims also supported me. When some of your heroes recognize your talent, it seems like you're on the right track.

What's your next step?

I just returned from Sofia. I attended the closing round of the KvARTal festival celebrating the city's oldest arts district and its culture. It was interesting, they called me in for three encores, resulting in a four hour set instead of the expected two and a half hours. I was the guest of honor for two years in a row. I've also just confirmed my first series of concept shows entitled GIRLS WILL BE GIRLS. This two-day event at the end of October focuses entirely on women's empowerment and mental health. There will be a female-only DJ rave, an interactive breakfast for those who identify as women, open discussions, favorite poetry readings, a fashion and beauty cocktail corner, live music, drag queen performances and more. Bulgaria has huge problems with toxic masculinity, violence against women, and LGBTQI rights. It's also not very safe for transgender people. But it will be a safe and enjoyable place for everyone. I started developing the idea in 2020 and now I'm finally making it happen. The support provided has been enormous.

So now that you have achieved a certain profile in Bulgaria, you feel like you can give back.

I was molested as a teenager and since then I have tried to help others who have experienced abuse. I know what it's like to be abandoned and ridiculed. It's sad, but I still feel like people are too intimidated by women who are full of pure energy. I have always been true to myself and finally I feel like I am in a situation where my voice is increasingly valued both in Copenhagen and in Sofia. This is what I want to share with people. I haven't had much help, but you can still get there in the end. I want to tell people that even if you feel like the world is against you, you have to put yourself out there. No one else will do it for you. I am a child of a joy culture, not just a global joy culture, but I have to face the mentality of where I come from.

Geopolitics in the Balkans are volatile and can make your life unpredictable. Living in an unpredictable and dysfunctional society can be very disheartening for creative people. Combine this with dealing with depression from a young age that turned into complex PTSD…and it's even harder if you're a woman, especially if you've experienced abuse. That's what my next album will be about, all the things that shape our perception of who we are and our sense of love and acceptance.

So we can't wait to hear your personal side on this album.

YES I respect partners who want to stay out of the limelight and don't want to talk about what's inside them. But when I do a DJ set and people like the songs I play, they like the story I'm telling and not just the songs. And this story wouldn't be possible if I hadn't gone through what I've gone through in my life, if I hadn't gone through what I've gone through. This includes the people I meet, the people I fall in love with, problems in my family, friendships, career, everything. All of this leads me to seek out certain types of music that reflect my mood and tastes, and I bring that to the DJ decks as well. In my opinion, people relate to DJs and artists in general because we base our musical performances on our personal history. But the separation can be very scary. A few months ago I had a panic attack. I said to my friend. “I was so scared to release an album and it wasn't a fear of failure, it was something I couldn't define.” he says. "You've created a very personal and private piece of music. You're scared because you're going to discover a part of yourself that you've never seen before, and that's a big step." And he's right. I believe in this album more than anything in the world. That's what I said. My story.

GIRLS WILL BE GIRLS will take place on October 27 in Sofia

Annabelle Ross is a freelance writer, follow her on Twitter